Who killed Kermit

Kermit and I have been friends for as long as I can remember. He always has a positive attitude. "It's not easy being green," but he sure manages well despite his appearance. I have a Kermit the Frog in my apartment. I am so dedicated to frogs that I have a collection of frogs mainly because I have a friend, Larry who keeps on sending a frog to me once and a while. I am frog, having a French Canadian last name but I don't speak a word of French. I hated the subject in elementary school, so I didn't take it in high school. My dad can speak French but he didn't manage to teach his children, although some of my siblings can speak it because they took French in university. I can speak a bit of German, which is somewhere in my genetic makeup. In Vancouver, I was watching Kermit sing "The Rainbow Connection," on YouTube. I am very honored in having been called Kermit the Frog as a nickname. My brother-in-law started to get a little worried about my obsession with Kermit, so he said, "you know he is not real, right?" I was jolted into reality and replied yes to his testing on my mental capacity.
So, back in Guelph, Ontario, my friend Nella and I, decided to set up the old Christmas Tree. The box holding the branches fell apart and so we had to grab a bunch of branches in our arms. We laid them on the couch when having finished this task, I realized that a web foot sticking out of the branches. And lo and behold, it was Kermit's. We suffocated Kermit! What a tragedy. I wanted to take a picture but had run out of film. As we sorted out the branches by size, Kermit regained consciousness and sat admiring us decorating the Christmas Tree. When we were almost done, I sat down and accidentally bumped into Kermit. He immediately sang his amphibian song and scared the dickens out of me. Kermit had got me back. I must of put the branches on Kermit; not Nella. The only thing missing was alcohol while decorating the Christmas Tree.
Nella and I, went to mass the next morning and I said hello to Father Ken at the end of mass. He was pouring wine in a bottle. I told him that I needed wine to decorate my Christmas Tree. Father Ken said he had never heard that one before and laughed. I told him about my trip to Vancouver. "It rained everyday except Sunday but I had a great time." The moral of the story is, don't mess around with Kermit!