I am WHAT?

"A hundred and thirty five pounds form ninety pounds? That's unreal! There must be some mistake. Sure you got the right body." I just found out about my weight a few weeks before my mother dies. Maybe I am to follow her footsteps. Gaining weight is about getting old. My mom found comfort in food, just as I am findi g comfort in food. I am forty now, and when I found out the I needed bifocals, I thought it must be age. But my sister said, "don't look at it that way. It's just a change." Yeah I know there are ways you can distort your thinking. At yesterday's group meeting, I though my self portrait, "Kermit the frog," was crooked and all my other paintings were straight because I am now crooked and am not sure how to deal with mom's death. She was the sweetest woman there could be and so kind. She didn't want to hurt a fly. I miss her tremendously. She was the perfect mom. I'm just glad that I didn't wind up in Homewood; a mental health and addictions hospital. I guess you can say I accept my mother's death. I feel like I am living in a dream world but it is better than losing your marbles.